When I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I turn on all the lights and drag along my Louisville Slugger… I am not going to get surprised by the unliving empty handed.
But I would rather face a bunch of Thriller video dudes coming out of the ground and chasing me down the street than try to understand grammar. I mean why does the English language have to be so challenging?
The farm was used to produce produce.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
When shot at the dove dove into the bushes
They were too close to the door to close it
The buck does funny things when the does are present
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear
Writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham
The plural of tooth is teeth but booth is not beeth
One goose, two geese so why not one moose, two meese?
See why I am so confused! I can’t take the insanity of it all.
Here is a compliment I received during a recent critique regarding a bit of dialogue in my story. Your character “talks too much and he gets usage a bit wrong. He’s pretentious and a bit stupid. Good example of showing character through dialogue.”
The problem is I thought the dialogue WAS grammatically correct. Does that mean I am pretentious and a bit stupid? Oh goodness, I better get a handle on this grammar thing.
Why do we ship by a truck and send cargo by ship?