About Me

My photo
MFA in Writing at Vermont College

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Too Many Cookies Are Not Funny!

I am stuffed!

I’m not kidding.  I don’t think I could eat one more Christmas cookie.  Not one more pinwheel, peanut butter ball, gingerbread man, thumbprint, pecan finger, ginger snap, shortbread, chocolate chew, molasses cream, nut ball, pecan tassie, or sugar cookie. 

No more.  My stomach feels like I just went over a roller coaster.  But those peppermint meringue cups look so good!  Maybe I could have one tiny taste.  No! Stop Jeff.  This has gone too far.  You are not allowed to have any more cookies.

Okay, I admit it… I have a tendency to take things past my limits.  My eyes are bigger than my stomach and I end up paying the price later.  There was the time I wanted to go for a day long hike and ended up back at the car an hour later exhausted.  Or the time I went on the 20 mile bike ride and coasted home on fumes.   Or the time I decided to walk up the stairs to work and got stranded two floors below my office sweating through my dress shirt.

I have come to accept this as a part of my personality.  I call him EXTREME Jeff!

But I never thought EXTREME Jeff would show up in my writing.  Yet that is exactly what has happened.  You see, according to my advisor I overuse humor.

The thing about humor is that, much like cookies, it is best in moderation.  Too much can make a reader a bit queasy.  One joke after another becomes tiring and draining.  A good comedian will pace and set up his jokes for maximum result.  I do nothing of the sort.  I hit ’em upside the head and hope they laugh. 

But that joke is just so funny that perhaps I can keep it in and… Stop it Jeff!  You need to know your limits.  You don’t need the whole tray of cookies. 
So how does one learn moderation?  Perhaps I could go to Humor Anonymous for help.  Maybe my friends will organize a funny intervention.  I may need to get a priest to exorcise EXTREME Jeff from existence.   I need some serious help here.  I am just too funny! 
Oh my stomach hurts.  Who needs this many cookies.  It is a good thing that Christmas only comes once a year and that my books are not published.  Otherwise we would live in a world of sugary, humorous gluttony. 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Telling a story through Christmas lights

Writing a story is kind of like stringing Christmas lights:

It starts with one bright idea.

That strings together into a tale.

Before beginning to write, I make sure to line up my way so I don’t go adrift.

Once I have my path I am ready to get started.

I begin with one sentence that builds to another and to yet another.

It begins to turn, twist and grow in unexpected ways.


And before you know it I am tangled in an evil web that I have spun.


Sometimes I manage to come out unscathed and can breathe a sigh of relief.

Sometimes, no matter how hard I try it doesn’t seem to work!

I can't wait until I get to start hanging ornaments on my story!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Words that make me laugh!

There are certain words that crack me up.  It has nothing to do with their meaning or the context of how they are used.  Just simply the sound of the word causes me to burst out in laughter. 

Gaggle                                     Pumpernickle                        Succotash

Dimple                                    Huckleberry                            Goop

Baboon                                   Chinchilla                              Hornswoggle

Noodle                                    Babushka                                Ridonkulas

Tofurkey                                 Sputnik                                   Earwig

Gurgle                                     Jabberwocky                           Lederhosen

Malarkey                                 Periwinkle                               Oodles

Rhinoplasty                            Sassafras                                   Wiggle

Who knew words could be so funny!