Yes, this is partly because I think it would be cool to have a tail.
Yes, this is partly because I have always wanted to speak in moans and screeches.
Yes, this is partly because I love to eat seafood.
And Yes, this is partly because I think the name Killer Whale would be totally awesome.
But today I want to be a whale because they are so calm and collected as they glide through the ocean despite the fact they can’t breathe under water.If I spent the majority of my day in an environment in which I could not breathe I would be thrashing and flailing like a madman.But not whales.They simply remain calm, coast around the ocean and surface every four hours or so for a little air.
No big deal that they can’t breathe!
I want to be a whale because at the moment I feel as if I live in an environment in which I can’t breathe.I am currently writing this post while staring at an overflowing in-box, a little red flashing light on my office phone is blinking at me, my email inbox says there are 34 unread messages and I am behind with my VCFA packet.I sure do wish I could calmly look at all of this and gently glide away without a care in the world like a whale.Instead I am thrashing and flailing like a madman.
Deep breaths Jeff!Deep breaths!
It could be worse.
I could be Joe Paterno.
I could be a Wisconsin politician.
I could be at an opera.
I could be dog sitting my friend's Rottweiler.
I could be losing my hair (wait that IS happening!)
I could be napping in a bear’s den.
I could be out in the freezing cold deer hunting.
I could be watching a romantic-comedy (they are neither romantic nor comedic!)
Okay… I am feeling better.
I have come up for air, now it is back to the ocean.
What to do with a critique that pile drives your story to pulp? How to react to a review that gives your story repeted dropkicks to the solar plexus? How to handle comments that shred your book to confetti?
I reccommend turning them into book jacket blurbs.
I will now attempt to take actual comments made during a critique last evening of one of my stories and turn them into blurbs for my book jacket. I hope they don't strangle my book!