Apology

I apologize to all of my dedicated readers (Mom and Aunt Laverne).  I have not blogged in several weeks.  Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you, I promise.   I have good reason for my absence. 

Reasons why I have not blogged:

·         I was robbed and someone stole the keyboard… seriously!

·         College Basketball is to be blamed.  How am I to get anything done in March with endless basketball games to watch!

·         We are currently packing up our house and we received these putrid smelling boxes from a friend.  I may have passed out for a few weeks from the fumes!

·         I had to drive to Iowa.  It is a long, boring state!

·         Homer went into cardiac arrest and needed to be revived!  It is not easy resuscitating a character.

·         There was a riot at work… seriously!

·         Several seventy-five degree days in Wisconsin… in March.  Need I say more!

·         I am trying to get back in shape.  Round is not the shape I am aiming for!

·         I had to drive to Minnesota.  It is also a long, boring state!

·         Louis Sachar called and said I don’t know what I’m talking about!

·         My wife’s birthday is in a week and I have had severe panic attacks as I have no idea what to get her.  Help!

·         I have been eagerly anticipating opening weekend of Hunger Games!

·         It took me four weeks to replace the headlight on my car… seriously!

·         I had to celebrate St. Norbert’s National Hockey Championship (sorry Peter, maybe next year)!

·         Oh… and I have been busy writing an ESSAY!

My Childhood Told in Story

I read Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos this week and need to discuss!

The protagonist of this book is a young Jack Gantos and it is part fiction, part memoir.  As I read this book I was intrigued by trying to figure out which parts were true and which ones were fictional.  I then started thinking about my own childhood and wondered if I would be able to write a book based on my life. Below is a list of ideas I came up with to start my novel.  It is up to you to figure out which ones are true. 

·         While the family gathered at my grandmother’s farm to slaughter chickens I started the tractor and rolled over the barbed wire fence and into the cow pasture.  The face of my grandmother's open mouth while holding a headless chicken will haunt me forever. 

·         I once ate a whole jar of pickles for an afternoon snack and later yacked in the sandbox. A sandbox is tough to clean.

·         I was so excited to finally go out for Pizza that I had diarrhea all over a Pizza Hut booth.  Dad cleaned me in the sink, flushed my clothes and carried me out to the car naked.  I kicked and screamed to go back inside while my brother followed carrying a to-go box and eating pizza.

·         On the way home from church I was run over by our neighbor’s Sheepdog and have been afraid of dogs ever since.

·         There is a hole in our garage door where my brother threw a baseball at me when I beat him in homerun derby.  Lucky for me he couldn’t throw a strike to save his life.

·         I always volunteered to mow the lawn… that way I could mow base paths and foul lines in our backyard.

·         I owned a large collection of Smurfs.

·         Graveyard Granny would keep any homerun ball that went over the cemetery fence. 

·         When Dad wasn’t looking I would slide across the hood and climb in the windows of the car like Luke Duke.

·         Was sent to the office during art class for drawing a beautiful picture of my 3^rd grade teacher. It is not my fault she resembled the Wicked Witch of the West.

·         Was knocked out cold playing tackle football at recess in 5^th grade.

·         Bumped into Joe DiMaggio in the concourse of a baseball game and spilled my soda all down his pant leg.

My mother recently told me to be careful with what I put in my blog because my aunts read this.  Hopefully they will still call me family after this entry! Sorry Mom.