My book jacket - these words could strangle my story!

What to do with a critique that pile drives your story to pulp?  How to react to a review that gives your story repeted dropkicks to the solar plexus?   How to handle comments that shred your book to confetti?

I reccommend turning them into book jacket blurbs. 

I will now attempt to take actual comments made during a critique last evening of one of my stories and turn them into blurbs for my book jacket.  I hope they don't strangle my book!

Excessive Humor, Excessive Humor, Excessive Humor - Humor can't kill you, can it?

This book rivals a novel of blank pages!

If you enjoy repetition, redundancy and someone telling you the same thing over and over then read this book!

Inactivity and Neurotic Characters =  a hit!   Like hit me over the head!

You should read this book!  And other things Mr. Schill will TELL and not show you!

A wonderful children’s tale told through Mr. Schill’s mouth and not his characters!

If you enjoy basket-case characters and neuroses then this is the book for you!

Who doesn’t enjoy useless Midwestern language?

Story, Plot and Voice are overrated.  Read this book!

Who needs likable characters… read about people you hate!

The perfect book to put you to sleep!