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MFA in Writing at Vermont College

Saturday, November 19, 2011


I want to be a whale!

Yes, this is partly because I think it would be cool to have a tail.
Yes, this is partly because I have always wanted to speak in moans and screeches.
Yes, this is partly because I love to eat seafood.
And Yes, this is partly because I think the name Killer Whale would be totally awesome.

But today I want to be a whale because they are so calm and collected as they glide through the ocean despite the fact they can’t breathe under water.   If I spent the majority of my day in an environment in which I could not breathe I would be thrashing and flailing like a madman.  But not whales.  They simply remain calm, coast around the ocean and surface every four hours or so for a little air. 

No big deal that they can’t breathe!

I want to be a whale because at the moment I feel as if I live in an environment in which I can’t breathe.  I am currently writing this post while staring at an overflowing in-box, a little red flashing light on my office phone is blinking at me, my email inbox says there are 34 unread messages and I am behind with my VCFA packet.   I sure do wish I could calmly look at all of this and gently glide away without a care in the world like a whale.  Instead I am thrashing and flailing like a madman.

Deep breaths Jeff!  Deep breaths!

It could be worse.

I could be Joe Paterno.
I could be a Wisconsin politician.
I could be at an opera.
I could be dog sitting my friend's Rottweiler.
I could be losing my hair (wait that IS happening!)
I could be napping in a bear’s den.
I could be out in the freezing cold deer hunting.
I could be watching a romantic-comedy (they are neither romantic nor comedic!)

Okay… I am feeling better. 
I have come up for air, now it is back to the ocean.



  1. eeeeeeeeeeeeeewoooooooooooooooo! That was a whale sound.

  2. Go Jeff, Go.
    And Happy Thanksgiving. (as I go off to make the required 4 pumpkin pies, with more to be made on Saturday because the above mentioned 4 pies will be GONE! -wendie O

  3. Operas are pretty bad. :)

    ~Hannah and Kevin Schill~